Thought of the day

i encountered this passage from the site of the month...
i've read it once before and again recently in attempts to find information for the speech im giving about dating...

the second time around this quote popped out at me...

"I don't know how to stop it. I'm annoyed by this seeming inevitability. I guess we look for combinations that are rare, but are possible: Someone who is familiar, but with an element of mystery; someone who is kind, but knows how to pick his battles; someone who knows how to be sweet and how to be sexy. The list can go on forever, and I know I'll keep looking, hoping each time that the next guy will be kinder than the last and still know how to excite me."

earlier today i was discussing with sean the idea "nice guys finish last"
its surprising at first that he agreed with that quote, despite him being a nice guy...
but he is a pessimist after all...

its not surprising either that i agree with that quote...
but my view is a little different...

nice guys may finish last...
but they may not...
it just depends on the race they run...

nice guys win, it is just rare
but what is wrong with rarity in the first place?
i would assume that things like that
are juss more treasurable when you finally attain them...

so what am i trying to say...
nice guys dont finish last?
well...
i'm trying to say...

if you're a nice guy...theres nothing you can do...
in a sense you're helpless
but in a different perspective...

what is so helpless about being a nice guy...
like i said...finishing last in a race that we don't care about is nothing...

to make things more simple...
visualize two guyz...

both nice guys...
one strongly affirms his belief in "nice guys finish last" and strives hard to break out of his flawed persona...
he tries to be like the "other guys" maybe tries to turn player even...
does he succeed?

maybe...
but he doesnt really see the big picture...
the guy can try to be the "bad boy" all he wants...
and he can be more attractive than he was when he was just a "nice guy"
but...who is he really attracting?
the girls who fall for the players...

and no longer the nice guy who finishes last...but the "Man"

there's the other guy
nice guy as well...
with all the great qualities found in a nice guy...

oblivious to the maxim...he finishes last...
girl after girl...
but...

despite it all...
he is still a nice guy...its juss basically natural for him
he doesnt know how to be anything else...

so he keeps losing...and keeps missing out...
of course he cant help to think if he is doing something wrong...
and it continues seemingly into an endless cycle...

Between these two examples a clear difference can be found...
the new "playa"
vs the nice guy...

the point...is the big picture...
down the line...
the playa is getting the girls...but what prize can this be...
he keeps dating and dating
but does not find the satisfaction he needs...
and he doesnt understand why...

the nice guy is still the nice guy...
but he isnt bothered by finishing last...once in a while...
the satisfaction he is lookin for isn't found elsewhere...
because he isn't lookin for it
perhaps he has it himself already?

the playa...is denying himself...
the nice guy underneath...
he is unhappy because he chose to live a life
against his true ideals...
and therefore is living a lie...
he set a goal to be someone who hes not
and as he achieve that goal
he is presented with treasures that one like him doesnt value...
of course...he has the girls...
but he doesnt have THE girl...

the nice guy...continues to finish last...
but through the same clueless obliviality that kept him a nice guy
despite his failures in relationships
someone has her eyes on him...
and he doesnt realize it yet...
but the whole time he was playing just a portion of the game...
and he is about to win it all...




well...while the other man lives a lie...always scrambling to search for something to fill his life
the other is true to himself...and as life turns out, eventually he doesnt find what he is lookin for...
but she finds him...

of course these two examples are purely theorethical in my own mindset...
but who is to argue that there's no truth in what i have to say...

just look for the happy nice guy...who has been patient
and the nice guy who always finishes last...who tried to win the race...




(the quote at the start of this post can be found here)