mayn, i abhore this season

crap... i have a crush on a girl...

im lame!

i can't even concentrate at school sometimes
*well i can... but half the time i'm asleep and half the time i can't concentrate...*

its a complicated feeling liking someone
just trying to be awknowledged by them in the smallests ways...

my heart rips sometimes when i realize how insignificant my presence is in their world...
but truth be told...
i don't know why they hold so much sway in mines...
why i admire them after all...

girls are very complicated beings
and i am no where close to understanding them...

i don't even understand romance... and feelings...
i understand confusion and chaos though...

some guys are keen on girl vibes...
that they can see through them like
a window cleaned with windex (these analogies are really getting out of hand)

im pretty sure theres at least one guy out there with the same problem as me...
its like usher said when he sang
"you got it bad"

what is the secret?
why do i always find myself in these positions
crap...

maybe its cuz i think too much?

who knows...
this happens at least once a year...
and ill be only too glad when it passes...
but ever since i've been trying to let it go...
it seems it gets harder and harder...

i dont know why...
it seems the more i'm bent on ignoring the feeling
the stronger it is drawn out in my life...

and it seems waiting for it to end
will never conclude...

but i only wish
and i only hope
because a crush is a crush...
when i'm past this...

maybe i'll find the girl that will one day be more than a crush...
and it won't be now...
it wont be tomorrow...

but someday when i'm least expecting it