lalala lost:. ...

hey thurr boiz and gurlz,

everyone still high on the spiritual trip from the SOL LSS?
I hope so, it's been almost, two whole days already...

anyway, ever since the LSS something has been going over meeh, and it really confuses me sometimes

Something like a change had occured from the person i was before the LSS
and the person i was after the LSS...

it's not really up to me to depict the changes i've experienced, because i don't even understand what's going on

Life has certainly complexicated itself in since the weekend...
change does do that to you...

fear does that to you as well...

one hot topic to blog about is "the gifts of the holy spirit"
for all you charismatics out there (if you're not, but just a curious bystander who stumbled upon my blog, you might now gets what i'm about to say...) especially pertaining to those who went to the SOL LSS there was a really good talk about the gifts of the holy spirit, and the same night on that day there was a special event where the guest speaker of the night handed out rocks to every body and the room which had certain other gifts, perhaps not charsimatic gifts, perhaps they were, i'm really not sure...but anyway they handed us rocks with potential gifts inscribed on them. We were to pass the rocks around and when the time ran out, the rock which ended up in our hands is the gift we are called to work upon in our lives.

so anyway, is this leading anywhere you ask?
well it might, but i just feel a rant coming on...

God's gifts are very special in life...
but they are something not easily absorbed...

a delicate balance if you may...
between faith and reality...

for meeh, these past days i have experienced wonderous amounts of insights
seemingly non stop at points

and the more things come to me the more the realization comes that
i am unsure on where i am basing my thoughts off...

:i posed a question to a facillitator at the LSS:
i asked her, how do you know when you have one of the gifts of the holy spirit?
how do you discern what is truly a grace
from something that an idle mind comes up with from time to time...

How do you know that the thoughts running through your mind at one time is from
the holy spirit, and not your own?

She gave a very candid response and she told me, i would just know...

but the fact is i don't
because i am unsure...

That is where this rant is leading up to,
ever since the LSS there has been something strange happening around everyone one of us
Wonderful things...

except it poses the question within myself,
HOW DO I KNOW WHAT IS WHAT...

i struggle to oppose and surpress certain thoughts in fear that
i may be mistaken about certain ideas and instincts of mines...

it is not insight alone that confuses me,
it's newfound roles that are presented to meeh which i question
on whether if i'm really meant to carry out certain objectives...

i'm so confused on what is meant for meeh,
and what i'm basically making up...