Ask him

to give you an awareness that when you feel as though something is missing... it's usually him
-ephesians 3:14-19; 1 peter 2:25

~dear God... we are like lost sheep, who will direct us in life if it was not for you... who will find us in the storm when we are seperated from your flock... who will risk their life and limb to save us poor lambs... it is you oh Lord... knowing great well how often ur lamb strays... u have come and sought me out time and time again... and because of your great mercy i learned what it is like to love... and to fall in love -- with you. please guard my heart dear sweet Jesus for it is weak so i do not forget you... for you know how easily i abandon you.. strengthen my will and intuition to notice when i have strayed from the flock... so when you come looking for me i will be ready and joyful when i see you that you have come to guide me back.. may my stubborn heart be surpressed and exchanged with a meek and obedient one. give me a new heart oh Lord...

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well anywho -- nursing school starts in 8 days... where has the summer gone? i'm at least looking forward to going back to school... my summers have been too easy and i have kept idle for quite a while... maybe i should have taken advantage of it and fully rested my facilities of mind and body... but yah

i also start job training this thursday and i'm thinking -- oh no how the heezy will this work out? but for some reason i am not scared... this job it seems i specifically picked and has specifically picked me... maybe just maybe its a gift from God... for me to persevere through... hope the hours dont interfere with my schooling...

the job is called picture people -- it's a mall job (i get to wear all black... thats sexy) and it caters to children and taking pictures of them... one: i love children; two: i love taking pictures; three: its always empty and devoid of customers; four: its a wide open space... so im not restricted behind some counter; five: why do i only see girls working there... temptation? or a source for evangelization haha well see... it's not a perfect job though... but what job isn't -- job's are supposed to be WORK duh!! it will build my character for shizzle... and ill just suck it up and be a man (just like nursing school)

in regards to school... i kinda registered towards the end of the summer... and when i finally got to it (procrastination sucks) i got waitlisted for one of my class... and eventually i didnt get in... (i'm like surprised because its a program... this isn't supposed to happen... i'm supposed to get into all my classes) i dare not tell my beloved madre... because she'll yell at me (the i told you so's) so i guess i'll have to figure things out from now till monday =D

so work and school... and hopefully devotion to my faith this semester (i sure got a lot of plans) it may seem like a lot... but i want to make the "faith" part the highest priority, knowing if i can do that.. i'll have the strength and courage to endure the rest... (God willing everything) if not.. i can always quit my job... (but we'll leave that as a last resort)

i saw mae just last week -- it was a little awkward... but for reasons that aren't obvious... she's a religious sister now... and i'm still living in this world... most people would look at the scenario and think... jon's scared because he used to like her... (i'm assuming this as i put myself in the shoes of people around me) but many would rebuke this as they know... jon isnt really scared of girls haha... he puts awkwardness itself on blast and goes... haha why arent u talking... u still think i like you C O C K Y! in reality... i was hesitant to see her... because i did still live on this side of the world... and (i hope i explain this clearly) it's hard enough for a religious to go away and pursue a vocation... but if they come back i don't want to be an anchor for them to find attachment to this world... in form of old memories... and things they used to care/think about. it would make it harder for them when they go back to their world to think about us overhere.. and i dont want to interrupt their focus on God... i have high respect for those who dedicate their lives to the Lord... they're unsung heroes in my book... even though they would not accept such praises because of their meekness.. but anywho... even if i tried to avoid mae... i really... really missed her a lot -- if i focus really well (which i stop myself from doing for obvious reasons) i have no doubt that i'll still find the wounds in my heart that haven't healed yet..

oh yah... theres a new song up -- actually this would be an old song but i rotated it into the lineup -- it's i believe - blessed union of souls they're the one who sang that hey leonardo song i really like as well... both songs sounds soo different i find it hard to believe that the same group did them -- i'm starting to like a lot of their songs... maybe after i get my first paycheck divided it equally into savings and spending money and tithed properly... i'll have enough money to buy a cd of theirs...

but to the girl whos name rhymes with "chick-en" tell me if you like it haha.. because you know i soo care about what you think (/sarcasm)