labor day weekend

ask him...
.. to remind you that HOPE is that little ray of light in the middle of the terrifying darkness
Job 11:17-18 Ephesians 1:18-19

i am not going to scrc this weekend, i remember the youthful days when scrc conference was the pinnacle of our year at hoj, but not this year, at least not for me. i have an entire three day weekend open and now i'm thinking of what i should do to make the most of this gift that i have... (i should study, haha). at the moment there is no plans for a saturday night, yet i may try to go to the scrc healing mass... or i can take this opportunity to visit my friends from carson... err i should rather say... family from carson just to be more accurate. and if i'm lucky i get to see a special lady, my friend jen... at the moment uhh the filter on my brain is currently not on yet and i'm getting weird ideas coming in... specifically an idea to evangelize jerryl's friend danessa. i've invited her to come down to hoj periodically... and worked hard to make her feel welcome and what not, and i was playing with the idea of asking her to come with me to my trip to lf seeing there is no hoj this week... who knows if this is feasible... because danessa would probably feel more comfortable with jerryl there, and probably i would have to spend a lot of effort to entertain her in this unfamiliar surrounding, but if she's any hint of what i see her to be, she's resilent and friendly and will just catch on to lf's friendliness right away... but that's a great assumption... but high risk high reward right? danessa is introduced to groups... ala liwanag, so what am i trying to do exactly? just expanding the hoj roster i guess -- we could use fresh meat for the grinder (just a cliche)

i hope today isn't too long... jen stimulated an idea in my mind last night... she mentioned that it's first friday today and i remembered what happens on first fridays "the communion of reparation" which is bascially a structured prayer service (that i don't totally understand yet) that involves the exposition of the blessed sacrament and all night vigil... and i might not be an all nighter yet... but i have an option to go there tonight and see what happens... which is most likely what i would like to do tonight... if i can just adapt to my situation (its far from glendale, plus i'd be making a drive alone... i'd be better i had some concurrent plans... and it's also nadia's party tonight, which i suppose i wish i could politely decline in order to go to vigil...) maybe if i went to the communion of reparation in carson... i'd see old friends there... if leila was here for sure i know she would seal the deal..

see leila... u are really missed...

~dear Lord, remove from my heart my desires that are not of You, desires that pursue my own needs and wants rather than Your goal and plans for me, help encourage me through Your Spirit, because as i am willing, my body and mind are so weak... slowly and surely, enter my life, so i may decrease and You will increase... open up my heart so i can hear Ur voice... mother mary hold my hand and lead me to ur Son, the way of the suffering servant... and help me intercede for my friends and family and my dear ones... may i be a light to lead the way to your Son, and not a detour that drives them away from their own guided path... enter my heart Jesus and mary, and make my heart like unto thine, with full knowledge of the victimhood which it entails...

i only ask for mercy that You wont hold my imperfections against me Lord... know that i am weak, and i can't do anything by myself... without You... i'd be totally lost...